i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
