sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
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whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
