dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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