She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
