Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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