I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
