White coat. Heels.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
