ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
