You really coming over, don't trick.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
