Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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