I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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