that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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