I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
