Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
