My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
