Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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