I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize