Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
