Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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