OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
