so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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