Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
