That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
