There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
