Sponge bath it is.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
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I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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