Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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