True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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