YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
