i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize