dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
