He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
