a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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