next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
two words...techno handjob
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you had me at cake vodka
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
