Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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