Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
