The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
