You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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