Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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