let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
