i just wanna soil my oats bro
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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