my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize