i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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