as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
