He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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