Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
