how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
