He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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