Do you still have your period?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
everyone is single if you try hard enough
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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