ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
