Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
