somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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