WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
