"it" just moved
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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