I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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