then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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