i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
