Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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