you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
