I wanna passion pit in your ass
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
