I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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