I looked at my own cervix.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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