I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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