Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
