What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
