so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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