So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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