even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I touched a dick in church today
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
