are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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