I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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