Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
