you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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